I'm alive

Praise to God, I am alive and well. My health is as good as ever alhamdulillah. Both of my parents are alive and generally in good health. My brothers are also in good health alhamdulillah. I'm going on about one post per every few months at this point.

As many of you might now, Softballers won the SASL championship a few days ago. I can't describe how great it fell to win it. It was special because this was the first time I was part of a team that won it all in an organized sport and league. It tops all those championships I saw the Yankees win, the Knicks runs into the playoffs. Those were all great, but being part of determining your own success gives one a totally different feeling. We played for a long 3 months on almost every Sunday so you can appreciate how it felt to win it. For vidoes... of the league and finals, go to http://www.southasiansoftball.com. Pathetic, I don't even know how to link it without writing it out.

Anyway, this softball stuff was just a very small accomplishment even in terms of this dunya. One can not even begin to imagine how happy a person would be upon hearing news that he been saved from the hellfire and granted heaven. Losing sucks in this world! May Allah save us from losing on the day of judgement.

Insha'Allah I'll try to post more often in the future. Take care, PEACE

SORRY

I would like to apologize to all my fans who visit my site everyday hoping and praying that they find a new post. I have not been busy nor have I been lazy. I just forgot about this thing. I have noticed that I am on a few of my friends blogrolls thus it is only fair that I post once in a while. Life is beautiful and people are beautiful. These are just mere signs of ultimate beauty, which belongs to Allah, glorified he be, most high. For some reason, I get spam comments on my site. Can this be prevented in any way? OK. I'm done. Hope the wait was worth it. PEACE

P.S. I intend to update more often insha'allah.

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I could not even think of a suitable title to describe what has happened in Northern Pakistan and its surrounding areas. Thousands, with estimates as high as 40,000 have been killed. 40,000 human beings. 40, 000 people who came into this world through the womb of there mothers. It is true that they all would have eventually died one day. Slowly but surely it would have occured. However, I guarantee you none of them wrote it up like this. Allah is the giver of life and indeed the taker of life. Death is inevitable and its timing is uncertain. Don't stop living life because of what happened in Pakistan. Rather, take heed from it by taking Allah's advice into account. - Oh You who believe, die not except in a state of submission (Islam) . Everyone make dua as these are days of dua. If you happen to have money, please donate to help such victims. PEACE

Tired of thinking about others

Peace be upon all. I have had enough worrying about how others percieve me. I refuse to continue to live like this. I don't know how to start explaining the train of thoughts I've had these last few days. I am not angry at the world nor am I jealous of it. Well, maybe I subconsiously am. I'm tired of feeling sorry for people and I am tired of seeing other peoples success in certain respects and wondering why such success has escaped me. OK, let me try to further explain. I feel like I need to become more selfish. No, Im not falling into the "survival of the fittest." All I have realized is perhaps the most simple yet also most important thing. This being that I have to take care of myself. My life is trust to me from Allah. Its a trust to me and no one else. Well, my parents have a role to play, but that role decreases as the age of the child increases. School, I have to do what is best for me. Deen, I have to stop being fake in my approach to it. I have stop looking at brothers who are better connected to there deen and I have to stop looking at brothers and sisters who externally are less connected to the Deen. I have start doing what I have to do. Yea, screw all of you. No, you know I really don't mean that. Yea, I'm tired of seeing you and asking you to make dua for me. Do you really care about? Are you going to sleep thinking about me? No. You don't care. And no, I don't care about you either. Well, I do but please somehow try to understand me and the emotions I am going through. May Allah increase everyone in good, especially me, me, and me. Cuz there is no one in this world I care about more than me. Take care. PEACE

Deenz List Regular Season Over

Alhamdulillah, the 18 game regualar season for the Deenz List has come to an end. Our record was 8-10 which is not bad for an expanison team. However, with all due respect to the competition, I felt we should have finished with a much better record. Either way, it is relieving to know that every team makes the playoffs. Speaking of the playoffs, they start next week and if I'm right, we will play the defending champions Dynasty in the first round. We've had more success against the Dynasty than any other team. Our team matches up very well against them. Anyway, the past is the past and we shall see what happens next Sunday. Insha'Allah we will win next Sunday and advance in the playoffs. Much respect to brother Ammad and the rest of the organizers of this leauge. Its been awsome and something fun to look forward to on Sunday's. I thank Allah for allowing me to not only play, but play well in most of the games. If anyone is interested, the league has a website with all the stats, records and other info. http://www.southasiansoftball.com One thing we have been lacking as a team is fan support. A few fans cheering us on would not hurt. If you can not come, which I am guessing you would not even if you could, at least make dua for us. Yes, dua. Do not pray and ask Allah to grant us victory over our opponents. Rather, pray that we remain humble in victory or defeat and that our hearts not become heedless of Allah. Haseeb, if you happen to read this, please come back for the playoffs. Wasalaamualaikum(Peace be upon) all.

Basketball and Brotherhood

Basketball by many including myself is seen as a way to promote brotherhood. The goal is to get a bunch of friends/slash brothers together and have fun and at the same time increasing ones friendship with them. However, this understand of mine was highly put into question as a result of what occured in this last weekends ICNA convention. Their everybody was, all geared up for the much hyped midnight basketball tournament in the Connecticut Convention Center. Hundreds of brothers flocked the area to take part in this tournament. Six brothers and I were a part of this flock. We were team number 5 and very excited to get a chance to play in this tournament with other fellow brothers. However, all it took was about 5-10 seconds into the first game for me to realize that this tournament had absolutely nothing to do with brotherhood. It was all about proving to other teams and players that you were superior to them. It was about winning at all costs, even brotherhood. It was about pride. It was about showing those watching how skilled you were. And let us not forget, it was about YM raising money. After all, it was $8 per person for a single elimination game which lasted 15 minutes. The brothers we played against were nice brothers and indeed very loving. However, on the court, we were not brothers, but rather enemies. It was survival of the fittest. Hard intentioal fouls, cursing, disrespect, and lying was evident on both sides. I realized how negatively I was affected by this atmosphere when I accidently hit a brother or at that point enemy with a full swing in his mouth. I knew he was hurt, but I showed no compassion for a good ten seconds. Then it hit me. This is not combat and these brothers are not my enemies. I must'nt be reactionary like an animal. I must think and act beyond emotions. In the end, we lost the game 9-7 as the clock ran out. However, I am sure Shaytaan was fully confident and content in that we both lost. What did we lose? At least for the duration of the match, we lost our dignity, integrity, and mutual respect. As I spoke with the other team members after the game to wish him and his team success in the remainder of the tournament, he pointed to competition as the reason for such behavior. I say, "Lanat ho istaray kay competition hay upar." -Translation- "Disgrace be on such type of competition."

Humbled

Last night I was on my way back from the local Indian store where I had picked up a couple of gallons of milk. A man unknown to me declared "Asalaamualaikum" as he walked by me. And me, being a Muslim, responded very happilly, "Walaikumsalaam." As we departed and went to our respective destinations, I heard a voice calling me back. The man approached me in a very humble manner. Before he even spoke, I could see the world of worries and difficulties in his eyes. He began speaking in Urdu and asked me for advice. It was obvious that he was not happy and felt disconnected from Allah. He said he had seen me before playing cricket with his younger brothers and had wanted to talk to for a while. He stated, "I see the Nur in your face." Nur = light. As he spoke, I reflected on my day and life and was convinced this man has mistaken. Although light is there, my life is constantly barraged with darkness. The man himself was 38 years old. I did not know what to tell him. I knew there was something else bothering him. After all, to approach someone 16 years younger than you takes a lot of courage. I told him all the general things. Spend time in the company of good people, continue praying... However, I knew it was not satisfying him. His pain was so deep, that he eventually opened his entire life for me to see. He told me that he has been in the country for 15 years. He said, Alhamdulillah, I never had a girlfriend, and in general I have stayed away from haraam things. I do my prayers, and cry to Allah for help, but all this worry in my life does not go away. As we kept speaking, I became aware that he does not have a green card and is still unmarried. In fact, he told me that he had borrowed money from his mother for a metrocard. He spend all day looking for work. He went as far a Long Island. And then, out of frustration, he began telling how he was a #1 student in Lahore back in the day. His father worked for PIA and brought his entire family here. His brothers are now legal and have green cards. He thanked Allah for this but you almost read his mind saying 'what have done to earn this?.' 'why me?' He was so disrought that he somewhat confessed to me that he drinks once in a while. He looked around. There I was, with the two gallons of milk in my hands. It was drizzling as it had been almost all day. He pointed to this rain as a blessing and sign that this could be the day that his life changed for the better. I tried my best to encourage him and tell him to hang in there. He requested that I do not speak about this talk with his younger brothers. He thanked me and apologized for taking my time. Rather, I should be the one who is thankful. Allah used him to humble me. Sure, my life will go on and will not be consumed by this man's worries. However, he like everyone is a precious soul. The least I can is pray for him and seek him once in a while to see how he's doing. It was obvious that he was lonely. And with a community of our size, no Muslim and further no New Yorker should be lonely. If you by chance read this post, I humbly request that you throw in a dua for myself and the brother I met. PEACE